Everyone wants to be happy. Yet so many people are not. Is that because of their circumstances… or due to their perspectives?
Great question. Approximately 50% of your amount of happiness, or what psychologists call your “happiness set-point,” is determined by personality traits which are largely hereditary. Which means one-half of your amount of happiness is essentially outside your control.
That’s too bad… but that also means that 50% of your level of happiness is basically within your control: health, career, relationships, activities, etc. So even if you were born with a tendency to be at least a little gloomy, you can still do things to be a lot happier.
Things the Most Joyful People Complete Each and Every Day
1. Actively pursue your goals.
Goals you don’t pursue aren’t goals, they’re dreams, and dreams make you happy only when you’re dreaming.
Pursuing goals, though, does make you happy. According to David Niven, author of 100 Simple Secrets of the Best Half of Life, “People who could identify a goal they were pursuing [my italics] were 19% more likely to feel satisfied with their lives and 26 percent more likely to feel positive about themselves.”
So be grateful for what you have, and then actively make an effort to achieve more. For anyone who is pursuing a huge goal, make sure that each time you take a small step closer to achieving it, you pat yourself on the back.
But don’t compare where you are now with the spot where you someday wish to be. Compare where you are now to where you were a few days ago. Then you’ll get dozens of bite-size chunks of fulfillment — and a never-ending supply of things to be grateful for.
2. Do whatever you do well, as frequently as you can.
You know the old cliche regarding the starving yet happy artist? Turns out it’s true: artists are considerably more pleased with the work they do than non-artists — even though the pay is usually considerably less than in other skilled fields.
Why? We’re not researchers, but clearly the more you enjoy what you do and the more fulfilled you feel by what you do, the happier you will be.
In The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor says that when volunteers picked “one of their signature strengths and used it in a new way each day for a week, they became significantly happier and less depressed.”
Of course it’s unreasonable to believe you could chuck it all and merely do whatever you love. But you will find methods to do more of what you excel at. Delegate. Outsource. Learn to shift the products and services you provide into areas that allow you to bring even more of your strengths to bear. If you are a great trainer, find ways to train more people. If you’re a great salesperson, find ways to streamline your administrative tasks and get in front of more customers.
Everyone has at least a couple of things they generally do incredibly well. Find approaches to do those activities on a regular basis. You’ll be a lot happier.
And probably a lot more successful.
3. Make good friends.
It’s easy to concentrate on building a professional network of partners, customers, employees, connections, etc., since there is (hopefully) a payoff.
But there’s a definite payoff to creating real (not merely professional or social media) friends. Increasing your amount of friends correlates to higher subjective wellness; doubling your number of friends is similar to increasing your income by 50% in terms of how happy you feel.
And if that’s not enough, people who don’t have strong social relationships are 50% less likely to survive at any given time than those who do.
Make friends outside work. Make friends at your workplace. Make friends everywhere.
Make real friends. You’ll live an extended, happier life.
4. Actively express your thankfulness.
According to one study, couples that expressed gratitude in their interactions with one another resulted in increases in relationship connection and satisfaction the following day — for both the person expressing thankfulness and (no big surprise) for the person receiving it. (In fact, the authors of the study said gratitude was like a “booster shot” for relationships.)
Of course the same holds true at work. Express gratitude for employee’s hard work and you both feel happier about yourselves.
Another easy method is to write down a few things you are grateful for every night. One study showed individuals who wrote down five things they were thankful for once every week were 25% happier after 10 weeks; in effect they dramatically increased their happiness set-point.
Happy people focus on what they have, not on the things they don’t have. It’s motivating to want more within your career, relationships, bank account, etc., but thinking about everything you currently have, and expressing gratitude for it, will make you a whole lot happier.
It will also remind you that even if you continue to have huge dreams, you’ve already accomplished a lot–and should feel genuinely proud.
5. Help other people.
While giving is usually considered unselfish, giving can also be more beneficial for the giver than the receiver: providing social support could possibly be more beneficial than receiving it.
Intuitively, we think we all knew that since it feels awesome to help someone who needs it. Not only is helping those who are in need fulfilling, it’s also a reminder of how comparatively fortunate we are — which is a nice reminder of how thankful we should be for what we already have.
Plus, receiving is something you cannot control. If you need help–or simply want help — you cannot make others help you. But you can always control whether you offer and give help.
And that means you can always control, at least to a degree, how happy you are–because giving makes you happier.
6.Realize that more money won’t cause you to be happier.
Money is important. Money does a many things. (One of the most important will be to create choices.)
But after a certain point, money doesn’t make people happier. After about $75,000 annually, money doesn’t buy more (or less) happiness. “Beyond $75,000… higher income is neither the road to experience happiness nor the road to relief of unhappiness or stress,” say the authors of that study.
“Perhaps $75,000 is the threshold beyond which further increases in income no longer improve individuals’ ability to do what matters most to their emotional well-being, such as spending time with people they like, avoiding pain and disease, and enjoying leisure.”
And if you don’t buy that, here’s another take: “The materialistic drive and satisfaction with life are negatively related.” Or, in layman’s terms, “Chasing possessions tends to make you less happy.”
Think of it as the bigger house syndrome. You want a bigger house. You need a bigger house. (Not really, however it sure feels as though you do.) Therefore you purchase it. Life is good… until a couple months later when your bigger house is now just your house.
New always becomes the new normal.
“Things” provide only momentary bursts of happiness. To be happier, don’t chase as many things. Chase a few experiences instead.
7. Live your life the way you would like to live it.
Bonnie Ware worked in palliative care, spending time with patients who had just a few months to live. Their most common regret was, “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
What other people think — especially people you don’t even know–doesn’t matter. What other people want you to do doesn’t matter.
Your hopes, your dreams, your goals — live your life your way. Surround yourself with people who support and care not for the “you” they want you to be but for the real you.
Make choices that are best for you. Say things you genuinely want to say to the people who most need to hear them. Express your feelings. Stop and smell a few roses. Make friends, and stay in contact with them.
And most of all, recognize that happiness is a choice. Fifty% of how happy you are lies within your control, so start doing more things that makes you happier. If you have any other suggestion swe would love to hear from you. To leave your comments simply click here